These days most people get on my tits. In fact, not just people; noise, smells, tastes, theme tunes, phone notifications, radio DJs making small talk, the postman taking a shortcut over my front lawn that is the size of a postage stamp (lazy bastard). I hadn’t thought anything of it – just assumed I wasContinue reading “Easily Irritated: The Perimenopausal Princess Papers Part 3”
I used to be one of those strange people who actually enjoyed doing the weekly shopping. I’d write my list the night before, put my shopping bags by the front door and then shoot off first thing on a Saturday morning to my local supermarket. I’d get there, park up, grab a trolley and startContinue reading “No Smiles in the Aisles – Unexpected Grump in Baggage Area”
Not my hotel room sex. Other people’s hotel room sex.
I am not a marauding Viking or your honey, whatever that is.
Not all kids are delightful. There. I’ve said it. We have all been in a situation where other people’s little darlings are being irritating, annoying, loud, smelly, messy (insert your own suitable adjective here). Whereas the children in our company (unless they are truly being little shits) will always be seen through the family microscopeContinue reading “Other People’s Dogs – The New Other People’s Children?”
Life-hacks for cleaning in the newspapers, beautifully lettered cleaning schedules for our journals on Pinterest and bloody ‘celebrities’ (most of whom are younger than my best comfy bra) telling me how to clean my kitchen.
What has the BF chosen? What do I get to watch whilst I’m eating the dinner that I have lovingly prepared? Fucking Monty Don. It’s 8 o’clock at night and I get to watch another bloody gardening programme starring fucking Monty Don. I almost choked on my gin.