Growing up, I loved it when an adult I spent time with lost their cool. I don’t mean completely. Just a little bit.
I would take great delight, for example, in my Grandmother turning from calm flour-covered-Jimmy-Young-listening-baking Nana, into the (very) mildly sweary, naughty and ranting Nana.
As I embrace the perimenopause, I am slowly discovering my inner Naughty-Nana as I too lose my ‘shit’ (as the kids call it these days).
Grandma would often proclaim that something ‘gives me the pip’ when she had a rant. I never really understood what that meant … until my hormones helped me develop and perfect my ranting skills. Now I do.
There are far too many to share right now, and some are more than worthy of their own blog. But to start you off:
■ those jellyfish people you know who aren’t really a friend, but tag onto your life so they can talk about you to other people.
■ being called ‘hun’ or ‘hon’. When did that even become a thing? I am not a marauding Viking or your honey, whatever that is.
■ celebs that suddenly start telling us how to do things that we have managed to do perfectly well for years. Back off! I don’t need your pointless life hacks!
■ internet news stories that are lazy journalism and pointless clickbait … and the people that then quote them as gospel because they ‘read it on the internet’. That means it must be true…right?
■ kisses at the end of a message from a female friend to a female friend who has said something really bitchy, but uses the kiss to hide the fact she has been a cow.
That all gives me the pip!